Ho-Chunk just isn't as friendly and safe as it used to be. Ain't that right, Death? I think it may be acceptable to call the floor if someone threatens forced sodomy.
Posted By: BVIWell, I think I'd like to hear this story.
Fine. Fine. FINE ALREADY! Fuck...
There was this guy at Ho-Chunk at Heath and my table. We'll just call him "Slobber".
So Slobber is fat, ugly, mummbles alot and has a gambling problem. He'll miss two rounds of poker becasue he is busy betting thousands of dollars on the ponys. Then he'll come back, buy in for $100, fold fold fold, go nuts, repeat cycle until he is felted. Then its back to the ponies, etc etc....
I end up to the immediate right of this guy after I seat change from the "9-seat of death by boredom." (ie lots of T3o, 94o, J4o, etc etc). He comes back and the following hand occurs soon after...
Being a lagtard, I raise preflop with god knows what and get called by Slobber and a few others. Flop comes out, I bet because thats what I do, Slobber calls, everyone else folds.
Turn comes and I keep betting cuz thats what I do, Slobber shoves some 2x the size of the pot bet. I have like second pair and a straight draw I think, so I ponder for a minute.
While I ponder, Slobber leans over oh so slightly and starts mummbling to me: "Dont call, Im gonna rape you, dont call, Im gonna rape you, you are gonna get raped," etc etc...
I look at him and loudly say to the entire table "Uh... did you just say you are going to rape me??"
Yeah, Philly had to tell the table what he was saying to him because no one else could hear his low mumblings. I thought it was pretty funny that no one even really had a response, not even the dealer. Everyone was either too confused or too scared that he might be serious to say anything.
That's better than Philly's story about the guy on the Beltline following Philly in his pick-up truck wanting to give him a BJ. You do bring out the best in people sir.